nama-slay that anxiety of yours!

affirmations for folks who hate affirmations

Inspired by American poet laureate of my heart, Snoop Dogg, and his viral affirmations-for-kids rap, I’ve created a curated list of 10 affirmations that remind me that sure it’s a new year, but it’s definitely not a new me.

1. Nothing can dim my PMS-fueled, sleep-deprived anxiety. That comes from within.

2. I don’t need material things like six-inch coffin nails to feel like a bad bitch (but they would help).

3. I am worthy of love even though I wholeheartedly enjoyed John Mayer’s music for way too much in my youth.

4. I will make my own joy, but if I can’t, store-bought serotonin is fine.

   

   i wish i could say that was totally original but alas, it is not. still, this meme is *chef’s kiss*

5. Always focus on the positive. After all, my anxiety is bad but anxiety memes are rad.

6. Benoit Blanc can solve any mystery, but a panic attack at the club is all the more glittery.

7. I give myself permission to watch my comfort show, Ted Lasso, in its entirety for the third time this year.

8. I can do hard things, even when the hard thing in question is writing that one email I’ve been dreading and procrastinating on because goddammit, the stakes aren’t high but they also aren’t low, y’know? And what if the recipient—

9. Me and my ideas are worthy of taking up space. Especially when dumbasses like Ben Shapiro publicly and repeatedly misunderstand how fundamental things like vaginas and mystery movies work.

10. I am doing my best, and my best is never enough for me, but no one has to know and I don’t need to remind them…most of the time.

Now let’s go nama-slay that new year, besties! Love you!